June 16, 2001

Things are strange aren't they? Like in the 1st entry about Jackson, I like him alot! [actually underlined about 30 times] But I treat him like trash??? The weird thing is is that he has always acted like he hates me, but at the end of the school year he said that he liked me. I think that is just how this world is. I mean just kids my age. I would ask my mom about it but if she found out that I liked someone or in my language had a boyfriend it would not be a helpful hint but more of an off with my head sort of helpful hint. And all my dad would do is mmm all the time and then at the last minute have a heart attack. The only people that I can talk to is well, Suzy and...ah nobody. Well there is me and me and Dakota and me. 

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So. Many. Thoughts! Firstly, apparently 10 year old me thought that liking someone was equivalent to having a boyfriend. Is that a thing that kids still think or was I just a special breed of boy crazy? Secondly, if I actually had a boyfriend at 10, I don't think either of my parents would have reacted in any kind of serious way. Especially for this particular boy - he was a good kid and my parents were friends with his parents. Thirdly, and arguably what should have come first, this boy was one of the major players in my crush lineup. I am almost positive I lied when I said he told me he liked me. *insert IDK emoji* Also, for those of you who aren't my family, Dakota was our dog. Not an actual human who I could entrust my secrets to.